We always get hurt by someone and result in an upset of our mood. Hurt is nothing but the feeling of emotional pain. It is an inevitable part of any relationship .
Being emotional in nature, I get affected off and on through the minor argument . Not only that, we carry in our heart of this hurt feelings of someone for years . Sometimes this hurt destroy our vital relationships.
When there are hurts from a person, there will always be friction and difference with them. Happiness seems have disappeared..
Now the question is how to overcome this problem.
One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum. If we get stuck in thinking about hurts always, we will be immobilized and life will become pitiable.
There are some tips which can be helpful in getting rid of this problem.
Explain your hurt
It is said that When someone hurst you, directly tell the person who caused it, instead of making it a matter of gossip. generally we share this feeling of hurt with someone else instead of talking directly with the person concerned . It can create Chinese whispers and matters get bad to worse instead of getting better. The best way to explain your hurts directly with them.
Accept the fact
Don’t pretend that nothing has happened. Don’t deny the fact and not conceal your feelings either. Instead, we should accept the fact and try to short out the differences with them as soon as you can. This is the best way to keep yourself happy and in a cheerful mood.
Remember, positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts
It is important how to talk to yourself in a painful situation. This will be helpful to move forward from the situation. . We should often try positive mantras such as “ I am fortunate to be able to find a new path in life — one that is good for me.
This type of self-talk can be helpful to reframe our painful thoughts.
Create physical distance
Someone said that we should keep our distance from the person that is causing us to be upset. I think this is a good idea. But sometimes it is not possible to keep distance physically. In that case we can try for psychological distance which may help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much.
Do your own work
Focusing on self is important. We should make the choice to address the hurt that we are experiencing. Whenever we think about a person who caused pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, we should focus on something that we are grateful for. I try to involve myself in enjoying hobbies like painting or story writing.
Enjoy present moment
The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, the less impact our past or future has on us.
“When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives,”
Don’t go for Revenge
Do not plan revenge or punish to show your strength and toughness. In fact we get hurt because we are not strong and tough, that is our weakness, our nature. So, we should avoid these types of ideas.
Accept that the other person may not apologize
Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you’re experiencing hurt and pain, it’s important you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who hurt you will not apologize.
Stop getting concerned about other people’s reaction when you are expressing your hurt . Be genuine in explaining our hurts because this is our area of action…
Avoid over speaking and over reacting
Just explain your emotion to them and let it go . Don’t get involved in arguments and over- reacting to make the situation cool and get rid of the problem. Over speaking is injurious to any relation but simply say it.
Be gentle with yourself
If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion.
Hurt is inevitable in any relationship, and we may not be able to avoid pain; however, we can choose to treat ourselves kindly and lovingly when it comes,
Someone says this looks like treating ourselves like we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our journey and those of others.
Allow the negative emotions to flow
If your fear of feeling negative emotions is causing you to avoid them, don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, experts say that many times, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness.
Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. “These negative emotions are like riptides,” “Let them flow out of you… It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck,” an expert adds.
Engage in self-care
When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Expert says — practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first.
“The more we can implement self-care into our daily lives, the more empowered we are. From that space, our hurts don’t feel as overwhelming,”
Surround yourself with people who fill you up
This is a simple but powerful tip that can help carry you through a lot of hurt.
We can’t do life alone, and we can’t expect ourselves to get through our hurts alone, either, explains Manly. “Allowing ourselves to lean on loved ones and their support is such a wonderful way of not only limiting isolation but of reminding us of the good that is in our lives.”
Permit yourself to talk about it
When you’re dealing with painful feelings that hurt you, it’s important to give yourself permission to talk about it.
Experts say, sometimes people can’t let go because they feel they aren’t allowed to talk about it. “This may be because the surrounding people no longer want to hear about it .
But talking it out is important. That’s why experts recommend finding a friend who is patient and accepting as well as willing to be your sounding board.
Give yourself permission to forgive
Since waiting for the other person to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work on your own forgiveness.
Forgiveness is vital to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feeling you may experience and move on.
Man is a social animal and cannot live without people. Forgive people who hurt you and create a convenient distance in that relation. That will make you feel relaxed.
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