Hello, dear friends,
I hope this Blog finds you in a cheerful mood.
Today’s writing prompt asks a deceptively simple question:
“What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?”
I have lived long enough to know that some lessons cannot be borrowed from books. They have to be paid for with experience.
If I could travel back in time and meet the young Vijay—the young banker, dreamer, husband, father, and sometimes an overthinker—I would not give him a long lecture.
I would tell him just one thing:
“You don’t have to control everything. Do your best, accept the rest, and keep moving.”
It took me many years to truly understand those words.
❤️ The Young Me Wanted Answers
Like most young people, I believed that hard work and careful planning could protect me from life’s uncertainties.
I built a career, took responsibilities seriously, worried about the future, tried to keep everyone happy, and sometimes carried tomorrow’s problems before tomorrow had even arrived.
Banking taught me numbers, discipline, responsibility and decision-making.
Life taught me something else:
Not everything can be calculated.
There will always be things beyond our balance sheet—people’s opinions, unexpected events, changing relationships, missed opportunities, health scares, disappointments and the mysterious turns of destiny.
“We can plan our journey, but we cannot always choose the weather.”
❤️ I Would Tell Him Not to Overthink
If I could save my younger self from one kind of pain, it would be the pain created by overthinking what cannot be changed.
How many nights have we replayed an old conversation?
Why did someone say that?
What if I had made a different decision?
What will happen tomorrow?
Why did things not happen the way I wanted?
But yesterday does not answer questions, and tomorrow does not guarantee answers.
With age, I have learned to ask myself:
“Is this within my control?”
If the answer is yes, I act.
If the answer is no, I try to let it go.
That simple distinction has brought more peace than many complicated philosophies.
❤️ People Will Not Always Understand You
Another lesson I wish I had learned earlier is that being misunderstood is not the end of the world.
When we are young, we often want appreciation and approval. Criticism can disturb us. Someone’s opinion can occupy our mind for days.
But eventually, we realize that everyone sees us through their own experiences and expectations.
You can explain yourself honestly, but you cannot control how someone chooses to interpret you.
“Protect your character, not your image.”
Your character is who you are when nobody is watching.
Your image is what others choose to believe about you.
The first deserves your energy. The second doesn’t always.
❤️ Retirement Taught Me Another Lesson
After more than three decades in banking, retirement in 2017 could easily have felt like an ending.
Instead, it became an unexpected beginning.
I discovered writing, painting, photography, storytelling and new ways of connecting with people. In 2020, I began my blogging journey, and what started as a post-retirement activity gradually became an important part of my life.
Looking back, I wish my younger self had understood this earlier:
“Life does not end when one chapter closes. Sometimes the real story begins on the next page.”
Today, I don’t see retirement as withdrawal from life. I see it as freedom to explore the parts of myself that were waiting patiently.
❤️ Don’t Postpone Living
Perhaps this is the most important message I would give my younger self.
Don’t wait for the perfect time.
Don’t wait until you have achieved everything.
Don’t postpone happiness until retirement.
Take the walk.
Learn the skill.
Write the poem.
Make the painting.
Travel when you can.
Spend time with the people you love.
Laugh more.
Forgive sooner.
And occasionally put the phone away and simply watch the world breathe.
Because life is happening while we are busy preparing for it.
“The greatest mistake is to spend the present preparing endlessly for a future that is never guaranteed.”
❤️ If I Could Whisper One Sentence
Today, in my Golden Age, I understand something my younger self could not have fully understood.
Life was never supposed to be a perfectly controlled journey.
It was supposed to be an experience.
There were supposed to be wrong turns, unexpected storms, beautiful surprises, people who stayed, people who left, dreams that changed and chapters that ended.
And perhaps that is why my simple philosophy today is:
BE HAPPY.
BE ACTIVE.
BE FOCUSED.
BE ALIVE.
If I could meet the young Vijay one last time, I would put my hand on his shoulder and say:
“Work sincerely, love deeply, worry less, forgive yourself, and trust the journey. You don’t have to know where every road leads. Just take the next step with faith.”
And then I would smile and tell him something I know now:
The goal of life is not to avoid every pain. It is to become wiser, kinder and more alive because we went through it.
Perhaps that is what growing older really means—not having fewer questions, but learning to live peacefully with the unanswered ones.
Categories: infotainment
Right! And sometimes, people get the false interpretation of us. Beautiful writing, Verma
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Absolutely! Sometimes people judge us by what they see, without understanding what we carry in our hearts. Not everyone will interpret our silence or actions correctly, but that shouldn’t stop us from being true to ourselves and compassionate toward others. Thank you so much for your kind words!
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Always a pleasure, Verma. You’re correct.
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Thank you so much, Sir.
Stay happy and keep sharing.
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Dear Vijay ji,
What a beautiful and heartfelt reflection. Your words carry the weight of lived experience and the lightness of hard-earned wisdom. The line “Protect your character, not your image” is something I will carry with me today. Thank you for reminding us that life is not meant to be controlled, but experienced — storms and all.
Wishing you many more chapters of painting, writing, and simply watching the world breathe. 🙏
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Thank you so much for your beautiful and heartfelt words. 🙏 I’m glad that “Protect your character, not your image” resonated with you. Life, with all its storms and sunshine, is our greatest teacher. I believe the real beauty lies in accepting its uncertainties, staying true to ourselves, and finding joy in the little things.
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Such a beautiful reflection, Verma ji! 🤍 Sometimes, life’s greatest lessons come through the very experiences we wish we could have avoided. Learning to let go, trust the journey, and cherish the present is truly a gift of wisdom. May we all grow older with peaceful hearts, grateful souls, and the courage to keep discovering new beginnings. 🌸🦋✨
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Thank you so much for your beautiful and heartfelt words. 🙏❤️ Life teaches us through both sunshine and storms, and with time, we learn that every experience has something to offer. I believe growing older is not about closing chapters, but about opening new ones with greater wisdom, gratitude, and inner peace.
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Inspiring message Vijay Sir, have a nice weekend!
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Thank you so much for your kind words! 🙏😊 I’m glad the message resonated with you. Wishing you a wonderful weekend filled with happiness, peace, good health, and beautiful moments with your loved ones. Stay blessed! 🌸✨
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As the old saying goes, Youth is wasted on the young. If we only knew then what we know now, how much easier would life be. But, then, that was never the point. We all need to make our own way by trial and error, so we can gain a sense of accomplishment. In the end, another saying comes to mind about all the worry we go through…Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff. Worrying about things we can’t control is time wasted. Happy Friday. Allan
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So true, Allan! 😊 Life has a wonderful way of teaching us lessons that no book can fully explain. If youth had the wisdom of age, we might avoid some mistakes, but we would also miss many valuable experiences that shape who we become. I’ve learned that peace comes from accepting what we cannot change and appreciating what we have today.
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Such a deep reflection. I think about this often and I’m really not sure what id tell my younger self. There is so much we learn through experience. Maybe I’d say follow your dreams – don’t let others talk you out of them. Live your own life, not the one others think you should lead – reflecting now, I’m not sure they really knew what they wanted for you. It was years, maybe even a few decades into adulthood that my mum revealed she thought id be a writer … but that was never the impression given as a young girl … she never said anything, never encouraged it
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What a heartfelt reflection! ❤️ Sometimes, the people who love us may see a talent or dream within us but never realize how much their encouragement could mean. Your mother’s revelation must have been quite a surprise, especially when you were never encouraged to pursue writing as a young girl. It reminds us how easily unspoken possibilities can remain undiscovered. I completely agree that we must have the courage to follow our dreams rather than live according to others’ expectations.
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A deeply moving and profoundly wise reflection, Verma ji! 🙏🌹 Your words carry the rare wisdom that comes not merely from the passage of time, but from having lived, struggled, learned, and emerged with a deeper understanding of life.
What resonates most is your realization that peace begins when we stop trying to control what was never in our hands. We spend so much of our lives negotiating with yesterday and worrying about tomorrow that we often overlook the only moment in which life can actually be lived the present.
Your banking career taught you discipline and responsibility, but life taught you the invaluable art of surrendering what cannot be controlled. And your journey after retirement beautifully demonstrates that a closed chapter is not the end of our story; sometimes, it is the beginning of our most authentic self-expression.
I particularly admire your message about protecting our character rather than our image. The world may misunderstand our intentions, question our decisions, or interpret our silence through its own perceptions, but inner integrity does not require everyone’s approval.
Perhaps the greatest wisdom of growing older is realizing that we do not need to win every argument, answer every question, control every outcome, or carry every burden. We need only to live truthfully, love wholeheartedly, act sincerely, and make peace with what lies beyond our control.
Your philosophy Be Happy, Be Active, Be Focused, Be Alive is not merely a collection of inspiring words; it is a practical reminder of how life ought to be lived.
Verma ji, your reflections offer something more valuable than advice to the younger generation: they offer perspective. And perspective, earned through experience, can save others from carrying burdens they were never meant to bear.
May your journey continue to inspire people to exchange anxiety for awareness, regret for understanding, and the endless pursuit of control for the quiet freedom of living with faith. 🙏
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Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such a beautiful, thoughtful, and deeply encouraging response. 🙏❤️ I am truly touched by the way you have understood the essence of my reflections and connected them with the lessons life has taught me. I believe growing older is not merely about adding years to our lives, but about adding wisdom, compassion, and meaning to those years. Retirement has taught me that life does not end when one chapter closes; sometimes, it finally gives us the freedom to discover who we truly are.
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I totally agree with all the lessons, and we always tend to learn the hard way.
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So true! 😊 Life often teaches us its most valuable lessons through experiences, mistakes, and challenges. Sometimes, we understand the wisdom of a lesson only after going through the pain ourselves. But every experience helps us grow wiser and stronger. Perhaps the real art of living is to learn from yesterday, live mindfully today, and face tomorrow with hope.
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Very nice.
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Thank you so much.
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Great post. I particularly liked the bit where you said “The greatest mistake is to spend the present preparing endlessly for a future that is never guaranteed.” — that really resonated for me. I think I’ve been guilty of that, and still am to an extent. But as I’ve got older, I’ve come to realise more and more that things can change unexpectedly. It’s all too easy to forget that though, so a reminder like the one you’ve written is good to read.
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Thank you so much for sharing such a thoughtful reflection. I believe we all fall into this trap at times, always preparing for tomorrow and forgetting to appreciate what today offers us. Planning for the future is important, but so is living in the present. Life has a way of reminding us that nothing is guaranteed. As we grow older, we begin to understand that happiness often lies in the simple moments we tend to overlook. Perhaps the secret is to prepare for tomorrow while making the most of today. 😊
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That sounds like a good balance 😊
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Thank you! 😊 I believe balance is the key to a happy and fulfilling life—taking care of our health, nurturing our passions, spending time with loved ones, and finding joy in the little things. Life becomes more beautiful when we learn to enjoy the journey! 🌹
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