# When My Pen Refuses to Retire #

The body may grow old, but the soul still has stories to tell.

Sometimes, when I sit before my notebook with a cup of tea beside me, ready to write—and suddenly, my pen seems to have nothing to say.

I look at the blank page.

The page looks back at me.

And for a moment, there is a strange silence between my pen and me.

It is not that I have run out of thoughts. Quite the opposite. There are too many thoughts—memories, dreams, disappointments, questions, unfinished conversations and emotions that have been waiting for years to be expressed.

But sometimes the words simply refuse to come.

Perhaps that is why I wrote:

“My hands may tremble, my body may tire,
My footsteps may slow, my strength may expire.
But somewhere within me, a young man still stays—
Still chasing his dreams through the twilight of days.”

Growing older is an interesting experience.

The mirror slowly introduces you to a different person. The hair changes. The face gathers stories in the form of wrinkles. The body asks for more rest than it once did. Even the hands may sometimes tremble while holding a pen.

But the heart?

The heart has its own calendar.

It does not always agree with the date written on our birth certificate.

Inside every ageing person lives a younger version of themselves—the one who still wants to learn, laugh, travel, create, love, dream and begin again.

Age may tell us, “Slow down.”

The heart whispers, “Not yet.”

As Mark Twain famously said:

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

Perhaps growing old is not about losing youth. It is about discovering that youth was never entirely physical in the first place.

There are feelings that are difficult to speak aloud.

Sometimes we remain silent because we don’t want to hurt someone. Sometimes because we are afraid of being misunderstood. Sometimes because we ourselves don’t understand what is happening inside us.

  • That is where writing becomes different.
  • A pen does not interrupt.
  • It does not judge.
  • It does not ask, “Why are you feeling this way?”
  • It simply waits.
  • And slowly, the words begin to arrive.

A sentence becomes a paragraph. A thought becomes a poem. A wound becomes a story.

Writing gives our silent emotions a language.

“When words become prisoners behind my tongue,
My pen becomes the voice of the songs unsung.”

Life does not become simple merely because we grow older.

Responsibilities change their shape, but they don’t disappear.

There are family concerns, memories of people we have lost, worries about the future and questions about our own place in the world.

Sometimes even happiness carries a strange sadness.

We smile because we are grateful—but somewhere inside, we know that nothing lasts forever.

Perhaps that is one of the quiet lessons of growing older:

We learn to hold joy and sorrow in the same hand.

And maybe that is maturity—not becoming free from pain, but learning how to live beautifully alongside it.

My pen has witnessed many versions of me.

It has seen my enthusiasm and my disappointment.

It has recorded my dreams and my failures.

It has carried my laughter onto paper and absorbed tears that never reached my eyes.

There are things I have never told another human being that I have told my pen.

That is why sometimes I fight with it.

And sometimes I miss it.

Because when I stop writing, I feel as though I have temporarily lost touch with myself.

My pen is not merely a writing instrument.

It is my silent companion.

It reminds me who I am when the world tries to tell me who I should be.

Life may not always give us the colours we want.

There will be grey mornings.

There will be disappointments.

There will be days when our dreams appear too distant to reach.

But surrender is a choice.

And I am not ready to choose it.

I may have grown older, but I still have pages left to fill.

I still have poems waiting inside me.

I still have stories to tell.

I still have dreams that deserve a chance.

So I will continue writing.

If life gives me darkness, I will search for colour.

If it gives me storms, I will learn to dance in the rain.

If it gives me pain, I will turn that pain into poetry.

Because perhaps that is the greatest freedom of growing older:

We no longer need to prove that we are young.
We only need to prove that we are alive.

One day, perhaps, my hands will become too tired to hold a pen.

But until that day comes, I will keep writing.

I will write about ordinary mornings, cups of tea, old memories, friendships, loneliness, laughter, love, loss and hope.

I will write because every life is a story—and mine is still being written.

And when my pen hesitates, I will not abandon it.

I will simply wait.

Perhaps it is tired.

Perhaps it is searching for the right words.

Perhaps it wants me to listen before I write.

So I will sit quietly beside it.

And whisper:

“Come on, old friend.
We are not finished yet.”

For my body may be growing older,

but my imagination still has wings.

My heart still has songs.

My dreams still have colours.

And my pen—

my pen has absolutely no intention of retiring.

My final submission

“We don’t stop writing because we grow old;
we grow old when we stop giving our feelings a voice.”

Vijay Verma.
www.retiredkalam.com



Categories: infotainment

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16 replies

  1. As we get older, it’s even more important that we tell our stories.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Absolutely. Our stories carry the wisdom, struggles, memories, and little moments that shaped who we are. Sharing them not only preserves the past but also gives younger generations something meaningful to learn from.
      After all, when we tell our stories, a part of our journey continues to live on.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What a beautiful and deeply moving piece, Verma ji. ✨

    Your words are like gentle raindrops on parched earth—they don’t just fall; they soak deep into the soul and remind us of what it means to be truly alive. The way you’ve personified your pen as a silent companion, a witness to your joys and sorrows, is profoundly touching. You’ve captured something universal—the quiet conversation we all have with ourselves as time passes, yet you’ve done so with such grace and honesty.

    The lines that struck me most:

    “We learn to hold joy and sorrow in the same hand.”

    That is not just poetry—that is wisdom earned through lived experience. And your closing thought—

    “We don’t stop writing because we grow old; we grow old when we stop giving our feelings a voice.”

    —is the kind of truth that stays with a reader long after the page is turned.

    Your pen is clearly not ready to retire, and neither is your spirit. Thank you for sharing this intimate reflection with such courage and beauty. It reminds us all that age is merely a number, but the heart’s language is eternal.

    Keep writing, Verma ji. The world needs more souls brave enough to whisper their truth onto paper. 🙏❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for your beautiful and heartfelt words. 🙏❤️ Your comment touched me deeply, perhaps because you understood not just the words I wrote, but the feelings behind them.

      I have always believed that a pen is more than a writing instrument—it becomes a quiet companion that listens without judgment and gives our unspoken emotions a voice

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The pen may now be a misnomer, as I so seldom pick it up. But the keyboard, that is another matter. While I do not write books or articles, my posts fill the creativity gap. There are times, I am stumped as to how the frame a blog post. I know, I have my photos to give me prompts, but even then, I may be stumped. I walk away for an evening or day and when I come back I know what I need to do. With age, these delays can take longer, but the mind still says go. Have a great day. Allan

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Allan. I can certainly relate to what you say. Perhaps the pen may have been replaced by the keyboard, but the creative spirit remains exactly where it has always been. 😊

      I especially like what you said about walking away and returning later with a clearer mind. Sometimes the best ideas refuse to appear when we chase them; they quietly arrive when we give ourselves permission to step away.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Age belongs to the body; it does not define the consciousness within. As long as the longing to understand, to express, and to give meaning to experience remains alive, the human spirit has not grown old.

    The pen does more than record words it gives voice to the silent witness within, the consciousness that remains awake through years of experience. And when words do not come, there is no need to force them. Sometimes, listening deeply to silence is itself a form of writing.

    Perhaps this is the deeper lesson of life: time may change the body, but it need not extinguish the light of creativity within. The body may one day ask for rest, but the inner journey continues wherever there is still something to understand, something to feel, and something to share.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for this profound and beautifully expressed reflection. 🙏❤️ Your words add another dimension to what I was trying to convey.

      I especially love the thought that sometimes listening deeply to silence is itself a form of writing. There are moments when the heart has something to say, but words need time to find their way to the page. Perhaps silence is where those words are quietly born.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Naturally, I have a question for you, actually more than one question.

    How many notebooks do you have going at the same time?

    When you write, do you go to the notebook first and then to the computer?

    Liked by 2 people

    • What lovely questions! 😊
      I actually have several notebooks going at the same time—one for random thoughts and ideas, another for poems and reflections,
      and sometimes a notebook simply for sketches or things that catch my attention.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I think we’ll all write until we have nothing more to say. And the way you workout and eat well, you’ll probably live a very long life, Mr. Verma.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much. 😊
      I hope you’re right. Perhaps writing, exercising, and eating well are my little tricks for keeping both the body and the pen going.
      As long as there are a few thoughts left in my heart and stories waiting to be told, I suppose I’ll keep writing.

      Liked by 1 person

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