# As If It Were My Last Day #

A contemplative poem about aging, uncertainty, and the quiet resilience of the human spirit. It explores the tension between not knowing life’s direction and still choosing to live fully—finding meaning in small moments, simple awareness, and the courage to begin again each day.

As If It Were My Last Day

How much time do I have now?
A question that sits
like an old companion
at the edge of my bed.

It doesn’t shout.
It waits.

I have chased answers
through books, through people,
through the soft promises of mornings
that never quite explained themselves.

Yes, I am older now—
but not finished.
I find the question still breathing in me.

Strange, isn’t it?

The body slows,
but the mind—
oh, the mind keeps knocking
on doors that don’t exist yet.

You told me once:
Live the life given by God,
as if there were a map,
as if the roads were labeled.

But this life—
it feels more like walking through fog
with a heartbeat for a compass.

Still… I salute the morning.

And I think:
What if today is the last page?

Not in fear—
but in defiance.

What if I spend it noticing
the way light leans on the wall,
enjoying it fully
when no one interrupts?

What if I forgive faster,
laugh louder,
care less about matching shoes,
and walk somewhere meaningful?

I get dressed sometimes
just to feel ready—
not to go anywhere,
but to remind myself
I still have a wish.

Something in my heart says:
There is still a way to burn—
not out, but bright.

So I will live this day
as if it might be the last—
not by rushing,
not by fearing,

but by arriving in it
and feeling it completely.

And if tomorrow comes—
I will arrive there too,
with my natural smile.

(Vijay Verma)
 www.retiredkalam.com



Categories: kavita

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17 replies

  1. So quietly powerful and deeply reflective Verma ji… 🤍 It reads like a gentle conversation with life itself full of acceptance, courage, and a soft kind of hope. The way you embrace uncertainty yet still choose to live fully is truly touching. It lingers in the heart long after reading.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Feeling approaching mortality with curiosity rather than fear is the better way. Once we retire, we are all busy doing the things our jobs never gave us time to do, including thinking about how long remains to us. As we get ever older, the question comes up more frequently, but our mind hopes it is not this day. Have a good Monday. Allan

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Allan—this is such a thoughtful and quietly profound reflection.

      Approaching mortality with curiosity rather than fear… that’s not an easy mindset to reach, but it feels like a wiser, gentler way to walk that path. Retirement really does open up space—not just for long-postponed activities, but for deeper thoughts we once kept at bay.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Verma ji, this is breathtaking.

    You’ve captured something so rare—the quiet dignity of not knowing, yet still showing up. Lines like “walking through fog with a heartbeat for a compass” and “I get dressed sometimes just to feel ready” will stay with me for a long time.

    There’s no false hope here, no dramatic resolution—just the honest, tender courage of being human. The way you honour both the slowing body and the restless mind, the fear and the salute to morning… that’s real wisdom.

    Thank you for writing this. It feels like a gift.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for this deeply thoughtful reflection 🤍

      Your words truly moved me. You’ve understood exactly what I was trying to hold in that piece—the idea that sometimes courage isn’t loud or certain, it’s simply the act of continuing, even when clarity hasn’t arrived yet.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Have you ever had, if
    Only for a moment
    A pain where never
    Had one before and
    Ponder. is this the end.

    I have. But only for a second.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s a very small piece, but it carries a surprisingly heavy feeling in it.

      What makes it work is the hesitation—the way the thought forms in fragments, almost like it arrives before language fully catches up. That pause in “is this the end.” lands softly but firmly, because it reflects a very human instinct: how quickly the mind can jump from sensation to fear, even if only for a moment.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. very nice .

    Liked by 2 people

  6. A very profound and contemplative poem that delicately speaks about time, uncertainty, and how we move forward even without definitive answers. It conveys this beautiful idea of living in the present moment, valuing the now and the small details that give meaning to the day.

    Thank you for this serene and reflective sharing. May your week be light and full of awareness in the present. 😉🙏✨🪷✍🏻🧘🏻‍♂️

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for such a thoughtful and beautifully expressed reflection. It’s truly meaningful to know that the poem resonated with you in that quiet, contemplative way.

      You’ve captured its essence so gently—the movement through uncertainty, and that soft acceptance of not always having clear answers. That idea of simply being present, of noticing the small details, is something I hold close, so it’s special to see it reflected back through your words.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Keep smiling, Verma and live it! Lovely poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much 😊
      That really means a lot. I’ll try to hold on to that—keep smiling and truly live the moments as they come.

      I’m glad you liked the poem. Your kind words add even more warmth to it. 🙏✨

      Liked by 1 person

  8. A deeply reflective piece 🌿 It beautifully captures the uncertainty of life and the quiet strength it takes to keep moving forward—graceful, honest, and truly inspiring.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much 🌿
      I really appreciate the way you felt the quiet strength in it—that means a lot. Life’s uncertainty can be heavy at times, but there’s something steady in simply continuing forward, even without all the answers.

      Your words reflect that understanding so gently. I’m grateful it resonated with you. 🙏✨

      Like

  9. Your outlook is positive, Vijay.

    Liked by 1 person

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