Hello, my friends,
I hope this blog finds you in a cheerful mood. Today’s writing prompt presents a fascinating question: “What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.”
This question instantly brings a flood of thoughts to my mind. There are many questions that people ask with good intentions, but they can sometimes feel intrusive and irritating. However, if I had to pick just one, it would be:
“What do you do all day now that you’re retired?”
Ah, retirement—the golden era of life, filled with relaxation, endless free time, and perhaps a bit of boredom? Wrong!
This question, while seemingly innocent, irks me every time because it carries an assumption that retirement equals a lack of productivity or purpose.
Let me explain why this question frustrates me and why retirement is, in fact, an active and meaningful phase of life.
The Assumption Behind the Question
When people ask me what I do all day, it often implies that life post-retirement is dull or uneventful. It assumes that my days are filled with idleness, perhaps watching TV, waiting for time to pass.
But here’s the truth: Retirement isn’t about slowing down—it’s about rediscovering life with a fresh perspective.
Many retirees, including myself, find joy in passions they never had time for while working. I write, paint, read, travel, and explore creative pursuits that keep me mentally and physically engaged.
This phase of life is not about “doing nothing” but about doing things that truly matter.
A Day in My Life: Busting the Myth
For those who are curious, let me describe a typical day in my so-called “empty schedule.”
- Morning:
I start with exercise—either a brisk walk, yoga, or kayaking. Fitness is essential at this stage, not just for the body but for the mind. - Mid-Morning:
I enjoy a healthy breakfast, followed by dedicated hours for my blog, poetry, or painting.
Writing is my creative sanctuary, a place where I express my thoughts, emotions, and observations. - Afternoon:
After lunch, I generally engage in my hobbies—reading a book, experimenting with my abstract art, and sometimes learning something new online. - Evening:
This time is reserved for socializing, family gatherings, and engaging sometimes with indoor games like Table tennis or Badminton and chatting with like-minded friends who share my passion for creativity. - Night:
Reflection, journaling, and unwinding with some soulful music or a meaningful conversation with a loved one.
Sounds fulfilling, right? So why does society assume that retirement is synonymous with inactivity?
Why This Question Bothers Me
- It Undermines the Value of Retirement:
Retirement is not the end of productivity; it’s a shift from earning to exploring life beyond deadlines and job pressures. - It Reflects a Narrow Definition of Purpose:
Many people define purpose solely through employment. But can’t purpose be found in creativity, community service, learning, and personal growth? - It Implies a Lack of Contribution:
Just because someone is not working a 9-to-5 job does not mean they are not contributing. Retirees volunteer, mentor, support charities, and create art, music, or literature that adds value to society.
Flipping the Perspective
Instead of asking, “What do you do all day?” how about asking:
- “What’s something new you’ve discovered since retirement?”
- “What are you passionate about these days?”
- “What’s the most exciting thing you’ve done recently?”
These questions shift the focus from assumptions to genuine curiosity, allowing retirees to share their experiences without feeling the need to justify their existence.
It is about having everything you love
So, to those who innocently ask me this dreaded question, I say this: Life doesn’t stop at retirement—it transforms.
Every day is a canvas waiting to be painted, a poem waiting to be written, and a story waiting to unfold.
Retirement is not about having nothing to do; it’s about having everything you love to do, finally on your own terms.
So, the next time you meet someone retired, ask them about their passions, their latest project, or their favorite adventure. Trust me, you’ll be amazed at how vibrant and exciting this phase of life truly is!
Now, I turn the question to you—what is the one question you hate to be asked?
My book is now available on Amazon. You can find it here:
https://amzn.in/d/0gBYPlvz
BE HAPPY….BE ACTIVE….BE FOCUSED….BE ALIVE…
Categories: infotainment
Retiredकलम 
very nice .
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Thank you so much.
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100%! I get asked this question all the time and wrote about this three years ago. My attitude has changed since then. I like your perspective much better. https://belaboringthepoint.wordpress.com/2022/10/23/happily-unemployed/
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Thank you for sharing your perspective and that link — I took a look, and your reflections are thoughtful and honest. It’s fascinating how our attitudes evolve over time, especially around big life questions like purpose, work, and how we define ourselves.
I’m really glad my perspective resonated with you, and I appreciate the opportunity to see yours as well. There’s something powerful in recognizing that different stages of life can bring very different answers to the same question — and that’s part of what makes personal insight so meaningful.
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This is such a beautifully articulated response, Verma ji! Your passion for this post-retirement life truly shines through every word you’ve written. I love how you’ve transformed what could be a simple complaint into a powerful celebration of this vibrant life phase.
The way you’ve structured your day—from morning kayaking to evening table tennis, from creative writing to abstract art—paints such a rich picture of fulfillment. You’re absolutely right that retirement isn’t about slowing down; it’s about reorienting your energy toward what genuinely matters to you.
Your suggested alternative questions are wonderful too. “What’s something new you’ve discovered since retirement?” invites storytelling rather than defensiveness. What a thoughtful reframing!
As for me? The question I secretly hate being asked is: “So, when are you going to settle down?”
It carries this subtle implication that my current life—with its twists, turns, and beautiful uncertainties—is somehow just a waiting room for the “real” life that begins once I’m “settled.” Like retirement for you, life for me isn’t a rehearsal; it’s the main event, unfolding exactly as it should.
Thank you for sharing your perspective so eloquently, Verma ji. Your response has given us all something to think about—not just about retirement, but about how we ask questions and make assumptions about others’ journeys. ❤️
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That’s such a thoughtful reflection—thank you for receiving my words with such openness and insight. I’m really touched that the spirit behind the message resonated with you.
I especially loved what you shared about that question “When are you going to settle down?” — you expressed that so beautifully. You’re absolutely right: life isn’t a waiting room, and it doesn’t begin only after some socially approved milestone. The twists, turns, and uncertainties you mentioned are often where the richest living actually happens. It takes clarity and courage to recognize that your life, exactly as it is, is already the main event.
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Funnily, every time someone asks me “how do you spend your time?”, I’m delighted to tell them, “I’m absolutely comfortable sitting down doing nothing.” 🙂 My hours spent doing nothing are most usefully spent getting to know myself not through activity but through rest. Just sitting and looking within. I call it my vānaprastha.
For you, on the other hand, retirement is a time well spent pursuing hobbies and engaging in a balance between spending time on yourself and others.
It’s a privilege to be able to retire. So many don’t have that privilege. So it’s best to be thankful one actually has the time to pursue what calls oneself.
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That’s beautifully expressed, and I truly admire the peace and self-understanding reflected in your words.
The way you describe your vānaprastha—time spent in stillness, simply being with yourself—feels deeply wise. In a world that constantly measures worth by motion and productivity, choosing rest as a path to self-knowledge is both rare and quietly powerful.
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